A friend of mine used to claim to have ‘Desperate Tuesdays’. Although I am not sure what she was desperate for every Tuesday, I do get depressed or bemused a lot on Wednesdays. And today, being a Wednesday, that is no exception.
I remember somewhere in the Bible quoted that we would sin and do stupid things when we are bored with our hands having nothing better to do. I totally agree with that, having been working non-stop since July, with the only break was a super busy “holiday" back home in Hong Kong over Christmas, it felt extremely weird to have nothing to do.
The project I am on was postponed because the main people are on holiday, this left me in a sudden emptiness as no one could give me work out of nowhere as I was so full on on this project.
Anyways as a result I started to think about my filming career again, and due to my recent addiction of the movie Weekend (which I have revisited 3 more times over the past 7 days), I feel like I am on a desperate Wednesday rather to become an indie film-making/script-writer/amateur-actress.
If boredom leads to sin, I am in no shame to tell you that I have written my single most deeply dark script that I am planning to film it but not to share with anyone. Boo.
As I have mentioned from my last Chinese blog post that everyone has a Brokeback mountain, I have been thinking about what mine would be and that little dirty secret of mine just surfaced reminding me all my dark past and event present.
I apologise this is not going to be shared publicly but I also decide to accept this is what I am and probably would not change. Everyone needs a brokeback mountain to be honest because a person without secret is probably not complete.
If that is everyone’s common life to hide something from the public eye then there is no shame to actually hide something. If you see what I mean, I have accept there might be a dark secret crawling behind my back and one day eat me alive.
Sounds terrifyingly realistic.