No one has taught us self-love; only self-improvement.

Sneaky English post is here again! So far I have encountered no grammar-nazis but I would still like to deter any of you from commenting on my poor standard of English up-front.

Today I want to write about self love. Loyal readers and followers would know that I have had a tough-ass year sorting out my mental health, and I want to speak to you about the positive impact of dealing with shits in life – once you bounced out of shit, you understand how much loving yourself means.

It’s fucking priceless.

You cannot put a price tag on it, I will not trade my self love / self compassion to anything, not a relationship, not a job, not money (for sure), nothing. One must love oneself, simple as that.

Note though, it is simple but it is not easy.

The children in Hong Kong are at the peak of unhappiness at the moment, there are numerous sad stories about kids having suicide thoughts, some even take action and end their lives. It is because they don’t treasure their bodies and lives given to them. They don’t have hopes and they don’t see how miracles can happen for them in the future. All the potentials. Our children don’t love themselves.

Whilst I am not saying there aren’t cases of children committing suicides in other cultures, it is uniquely true that our parenting method, one that focus on a harsh training towards excellence in a competitive society, has now taken a toll on our future generations. It is important to remember that these children do not just get unhappy suddenly, over generations of tiger parenting, we have accumulated self-hatred and anger to the society, and this has now reached the most severe level of self harm.

No one has taught us self-love; only self-improvement.

Bloody hell. Let’s take a moment there to breathe in. Consider this, self-improvement is important but self-love is the foundation of all things. If you love yourself, you KNOW you are worthwhile, and you HAVE an innate self confidence, and you strive to do better, and that leads to positive view on self-improvement, then you actually improve. It’s not because you’re fucked that’s why you need to improve, it’s because you’re amazing that’s why you CAN improve.

See the very subtle difference there? Our culture seldom tell us that we are amazing so we can all get better because we have so much potential.

My dearest readers, you are now old enough to be in charge of your own life. You are getting more and more independently minded, and it’s time to ask yourself these few questions:

  • Do you love yourself?
  • When something goes wrong do you either blame yourself, or others?
  • Is it hard to complement yourself and others? Do you think complements are fake and a precious things that we shouldn’t give out easily?

Take sometime to think about that, list out times when you have done something not to torture yourself but to truly nourish yourself in your heart. This is substantially different to retail therapy, addictions and hedonism. Have a think, what is self loving?

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